Step 1.

Funny how I recently rediscovered my ole blog and for once I have something to say. Ironically my last post was talking about my one year anniversary in Italy and I write today knowing I am 2 weeks shy of my one year anniversary here in New York City.

This one is meant for an audience of one... myself. The purpose: to clarify many things.

I'm not even sure where to begin as my mind has been scatter-brained for some time now. All rational thoughts are about as sound and secure as a mud pie... the ones you make as a kid. I can recall trying to make one in the backyard of my childhood home actually. But why am I so scatter brained? I seemed to have not trust my decisions anymore because of their insecurity and mud pie foundations; thus, I have lost faith in myself.

Going through my head now:

1.   I should be sending out architecture resumes

2.   I need to revise and rework my architecture portfolio

3.   Should I be looking for a part time, entry level web design job?

4.   I am not where I want to be career-wise

5.   I am not where I want to be relationship-wise

6.   I am not where I am certain I want to be

7.   Where is everyone?

Where do I start? Where do I go from here? Hell... how do I even continue this blog?

I don't think I am depressed, but I am sad, frustrated and sadly, scared. I hate uncertainty but it is life. If only there was an undo button, I might actually use it. I know I would have never used it before now. At what point would I "undo" to? I have an idea.

Would my decisions make more sense and be a bit more justifiable coming from a magic-8-ball? At least then I wouldn't second guess myself all the time. If I could just pick up a "chance" card and have tell me what to do... go to the railroad, you won a beauty contest, go directly to jail, maybe even free parking? 3 years ago, I didn't second guess myself about moving away; some thought I was crazy, I knew I was right. Now? "All sources say no" a line from a magic 8 ball lol.

The only question I must answer, is where do I want to be (as in career, location, myself). Remember tomorrow is only 24 hours; not enough time to achieve a lifetime of goals. List it out, and don't second guess it. Admit your mistakes, learn, and move on... no dwelling allowed. You don't need to try and be the best to the world... be best to yourself. Maybe its true if you love yourself, others will follow in your lead.

Tanti Auguri a me!

Happy anniversary to me!!! I arived here exactly one year ago today!! To all the people that said or thought I couldn't do it, I salute you with a nice glass of CHIANTI!! Anyways, I don't have much time seeing as I need to return to work and email a few people, but things are fine here, just gettin' a little run-down between work and work.

All work and no play makes Vincenzo a dull boy!
All work and no play makes Vincenzo a dull boy!
All work and no play makes Vincenzo a dull boy!...

Hope everyone is swell!

Ciao tutti!!

PS... why can't I change the font!?!? Che cazzo!

La vita è cosi... diah!!

How long has it been? Not much to report here. I'm home early seeing as its a Monday night and its been storming like crazy all night, thus I didn't go out seeing as all of Volterra stays in when it rains here. So now I'm watching Bevis and Butthead in Italian since nothing is on TV (I only have about 18 channels).

Tomorrow is my last day of school, and I'm not looking forward to going because its supposed to raining and my school is a 10 minute walk DOWNhill. But I am thinking of finding a tutor to help me along seeing as I have so many questions that seem to go unanswered. This might be better seeing as I can hopefully choose the times we meet. I'm sure this route might cost a bit more since I was paying nothing for the Italian classes I'm finishing now.

Otherwise, the majority of my time is between the restaurant and the architecture firm. Tomorrow, being my day off from the restaurant, I will be at the firm all day. Things have been going great at both jobs. My desserts, which are both on the new menu now, are among the best sellers (Creme brulee and Limoncello-Yogurt Sorbet). The chef is a bit sad I think cause the other flavors don't sell anymore. The next thing I would like to try is making Sicilian canolli[s]. This one would be a bit tricky seeing as I am not about to give them grandma's recipe (if I had it). Which might be a good move anyways because if they're a hit and I eventually start working for an architecture firm full time, they can pay be to make the pudding! Kind-of job-security you could say. I want to do this because you can't get a good canolli here unless you were to go down to Sicily.

At the firm, we've all been working on a big project for a small town, Villapiano I think. All the houses there look like they were either bombed or ruined by an earthquake, thus I am taking the photos of these houses and drawing the elevations (front views). Not much in terms of designing but all 4 of us at the firm are doing this. And I'm thrilled seeing as my boss gave me the keys to the office so I can work anytime I want, or even work on an architecture competition if I ever find one. I also sometimes use the internet at his office after work too.

Also, last Tuesday, Fausto, his girlfriend and I all went to Ikea where I bought a nice big desk, a robe, creme brulee plates (I should of bought more than just 12) and a few other odds and ends for around the house. With my old desk I made a mini-bar in my living room. Kind of sucks that its been nearly 2 months since I've had friends over for dinner. Maybe soon. I'm hopefully going to be going to dinner tomorrow with this German girl who I told, owes me a pizza and a beer seeing I bought her the small table she wanted at Ikea last week. And although she flirts with me alot, she used to be my friend's girlfriend, so not sure what I should do if there is actually anything between us. Granted my friend has alot of issues and is planning on moving out of Italy soon, but I've never been one to ruin a friendship. I guess I'll have to keep ya's posted.
Otherwise things are fine. And although I have little-to-no life anymore, I seem to be quite happy, even more so than I was last summer when I was working the pizzaria and had more free time. I think its because I know I have better jobs and I although I am not making money at the firm, I am making enough at the restaurant that I can actually start banking money. The tips alone pay for my rent (in Italy, the whole staff splits the tips) thus I have nearly double the spending money than I did last year. The only big purchase I plan on making this year is buying a pull out sofa so my friends from the States won't have to pay for a hotel when they come, and hopefully actually reconsider coming since a hotel is the a big, if not the biggest expense when traveling. But luckily my boss at the restaurant, Genuino, has a friend that owns a furniture factory not far from here. Hopefully we'll be going to this factory this week or next.

Well, not much else to say, and its getting late so I need to sign, seal and deliver this blog and go to bed. Hope all is well.

Ciao tutti!!

Vita de Merda

My appologies for not posting a blog over the past month. It can go without saying, I have been nothing but busy. If I haven't mentioned before, I am working 2 jobs and going to school. Six days a week I am a cook with afternoons off which is when I normally go and work with the Andrea the architect.

Right now, its 10:30 at night and I'm here at the architecture firm. I'm the only one left so I'm blaring some music and cruising the net. I'd run home and grab a beer or two so I can relax but my boss hasn't made a copy of the key for me yet. I've designed enough today. Right now we're working on perhaps a couple of loft or mixed-use projects outside of Volterra. Thus, I brought pics of my loft and other simular buildings in the US.

At my other job, we've been getting really busy with tourists and I usually leave so exhausted, I sometimes wonder if I should go take a nap rather than going to the firm. And at night, rather than going out with friends, I go right to bed. Sometimes I find time for a game of poker with the boys.

As for kid from Romania... well thankfully he went back to Romania. He was a pain in my ass and quite annoying and rude at times. My boss wasn't happy with him but he was as least a body in the dining room (as my dad would put it). So I've been trying to slowly get my house back in order but my time is sparse.

Anyways, sorry that this is so short, I'll try to regroup and actually think of something worth writing about soon... assuming I can re-piece-together my brain.

Ciao Tutti!!

Tutto posto

So where did I leave off?? I think its been 3 weeks since my last confession? And if thats the case, I have alot to mention. For a while, I was helping both the cafe near my house and the restaurant, Del Duca. It was going ok seeing as I know I had to make a decision soon but was enjoying working with both. I was in a sort of catch 22 though, if I didn't mention before. Del Duca was willing to let me work as long as I could get the work stay and the cafe was just willing regardless of the work stay. So right there you might say, I should work at the cafe. Another thing to add was that the cafe was willing to pay me €6.50 which I don't think they could afford. Del Duca was going to pay me less. But the flip side was I would get more hours at Del Duca seeing as they're open 6 days a week and don't close when it rains like the cafe.

These past two weeks I was mostly working in the kitchen at Del Duca but also helping out at the cafe, such as helping to put out their patio, helping to take it down the next day after the police told the owner he was a week early, putting the patio back out the following week and even taking the owners' car to the grocery store and doing all their shopping (and mine too). Well, this past Sunday, I had to break it off with the cafe as we were putting the patio out once again because unfortunately, both them and Del Duca needed me that afternoon. Well the owner was a bit pissed at me even though I found a friend that was looking for work and came and helped us put up the deck. So after working from 8-12 at the cafe with their patio, I ran over to Del Duca and we had a banquet. So I worked from 12-6. Then, I went and helped my friend Fausto unload a truck from a banquet he had earlier that day after which I ran home, changed clothes and worked at Del Duca once again but in the dining room this time. Made for one hell of a day but in the back of my mind, I knew how upset the owners of the cafe were with me. I haven't passed by there since and unfortunately haven't had time to perhaps but some flowers to put at their door one night after they close.

I hope I made the right decision. The idea was that in the spring, there’s a lot amount of time for which a stranger can ask for a work stay. So I went and got these documents for this request, got them filled out but I was still waiting for one last document which I couldn’t find. Well, 2 days after I quit the café, the place where they didn’t care if I had the work stay or not, the “window” for which I could send in the request closed without my knowing… So this is where I stand, with no idea what to do, but I do have the police here working on it for me.

I need to bring this one to a close soon seeing as I have time for nothing right now. But right now I have another person staying at my house who is originally from Romania. He just arrived here and was brought in by the owner of Del Duca to work as a waiter. So I’m helping him get his work stay and jealous at how easy it is for him. He’ll be here for a little bit while we try to find him an apartment. Mean while, I only have to pay half the rent.

Anyways, time to go and get back to life.

Ciao tutti!!

Che lo vuoi...

Time for another blog! But before I begin, thanks to my readers who have either left comments or sent over emails, no matter how disturbing (ie the suggestion of me working as a gigo... haha, nevermind). So long as I know people are reading, I'll try to keep up.

So today, surprisingly I'm not mad after finding out a few friends were "talking behind my back" as the saying goes. Now that I got your attention, we're going to "Tarentino" this (start with the ending and work backwards, much like Quinten Tarentino does in on of my favorite movies, Pulp Fiction). So the story begins (or ends) with me wandering Volterra wondering that I can do this evening seeing as I really don't feel like going "drinking" and my favorite hang-out, La Vena is closed for some kinda construction. So I sit on a bench near the road/sidewalk/conversation area, what ever you wanna call it, and I decide to call my friend Fausto (the one with the banquet hall). And as I call him, I see him walking down the street, thus, I hang up and walk with him. So he tells me to come with him. And so I do just that. We end up at Del Duca, which I've mentioned a few times before, most notably, the episode of me eating dinner with the owner the night before my parents were to arrive in Italy and I was eating fish as though it were corn on the cob (look for the blog around October 4th). Anyways... Fausto is going to Del Duca to work, and so I'm about to leave when the owner suggest I stay and work. So I do. Half way through the night, he asks me if I want a job. Maybe we'll talk about that later but let's continue with this saga first seeing as I haven't even made a point yet and this paragraph is knee deep in words, assuming this paragraph had legs. (Where was I?) Oh, ok, so the guests at the restaurant are sipping their respective grappas, and I'm in the kitchen (where I was all night) cleaning up when Fausto comes in with a big (1 liter) bottle of beer. So him and I drinking and he's telling me this story about dinner Wednesday night, which was his birthday.

Breath... get a drink... wake up... do what ever you need to do, sorry for that long continuum (never used that word before, hope it makes sense)

As his story goes, him, his girlfriend, his mom, and another couple, who all know me and who I have all worked with to some degree, were all talking about me at Fausto's little birthday dinner. Now I can't get mad because of what was said. The other couple was Andrea (the architect I worked with for a few days a couple of weeks ago) and his girlfriend (?) who I worked with last June at a big wedding outside of town. (Oh, and since I said I worked with everyone at this table, just to clarify, I worked with Fausto's mom a few times while I was helping Fausto get his banquet hall ready for opening last year, and in the kitchen 2 weeks ago of his place, and Fausto's girlfriend, I've helped her at her bar a couple of times for a drink in return). If you haven't figure out where I am going with this, you in the same boat as me, cause I completely forgot too...

Oh... that's right, they're celebrating Fausto's birthday, talking about me, when I'm, ironically, across town eating a sandwich (haha, actually that's true). But unlike most "talking behind someone's back" this one was positive. Come to find out, Andrea was astonished (another big word I don't recall using before) by how "professional" I was and my "eye for detail" and that fact that I didn't leave work when the clock hit 8 (yes 8 is quittin' time here people). Mind you, if you can't recall, pulled an all-nighter to help him get his project complete in time for the noon deadline (he made it to the site 11 minutes LATE however). Fausto didn't go into detail as to what the others had to say about my work ethics, but I guess Fausto knew how important Andrea's opinion of me meant to me.

An idea arose from this. Fausto suggested I "sell myself" and I don't mean in a gigolo sense either (you know who you are!!) but rather I offer to work a few hours or even a day with some professionals or even just some "big shots" in town to get the word out. Let me approach this a different way if you will... Remember, the socializing and conversations with most other people takes place at _____. The answer is: the bar folks! Ie La Vena di Vino among others. And although I talked to Andrea the architect before at La Vena many of times before, it wasn't untill he saw me last June, when he went to the wedding at which his girlfriend was working at with me, did he actually see me outside of the context of (help me out here... what was that answer to the ? above?? Thats right, he's never seen me outside of THE BAR!! Good job people!!). So although I've talked with the owner of a big cheese farm, or a geometra (like a small time architect), or a friend who ran for mayor, or the owner of a big store in town, even if these people were looking for help, they have no idea of me, my work ethics, and my desire to prove myself, but they may rather think that this is someone who just likes to "socalize".

Wow... I hope I haven't lost anyone in this blog. I know I've said before I'm really sick of going out and drinking. Whether I said it here or not, I'm not sure, but I will now; living in a small town, I'm finding a problem in the variety of activities that one can partake in without either being alone or drinking. Unfortunately, I really don't want to end this blog with the suggestion that all I do is drink and act goofy, but I do stay out of my house and socalize. And added to that, I enjoy walking down the street and being able to say hi to almost anyone and hearing people greeting me by my name and asking me how I'm doing. It took a long time of hard work, ie staying out of the house, working, hanging out at La Vena, (networking) for me to be satisfied... no no no... delighted to walk around and people knowing me, often, more people know me and say "Ciao Vincenzo" more they say hi to my friend that might be walking with me and who grew up in Volterra. (Granted the other Volterrani wouldn't say hi, nor call my friend Vincenzo unless I that was his name)

Ok, I don't know how to end this blog so I will abruptly:

Ciao Tutti!!

Questo è Vincenzo, lui è un ARCHITETTO AMERICANO

Well, another nearly two weeks has passed and thus you would think I would have alot to talk about. Hmmm, well I have enough to talk about. Like since my last installment, I went to downtown Pisa for the first time. I was avoiding my friend, Marco because I knew he wanted to go there and take care of some business on a Saturday, and I, not feeling good and not sleeping well at night, didn't answer the phone when he called 6 times in a matter of a half an hour. Well, later that day, I decided to go grocery shopping, and of course, as I'm walking down to the store, he comes driving by and tells me to hop in the car so we can go. He then said we'll be back by 8 that night. I figured ok, 4 or 5 hours won't hurt, then I can get home and relax. So we go around and around Pisa to finally meet his friend, oddly enough at a church. Well this church was actually holding an exhibit of Volterran art, and thus I ran into a few people I knew. Well Marco ran into a couple of girls and told me we're not going right back to Volterra at 8, but rather to dinner. So we go to this noisy pizzaria that he was raving about and we get a table next to a little kids birthday party. And mind you, I didn't bring asprin and wasn't feeling good to begin with. So after being at that pizzaria for probably 2 or 3 hours, we finally go. I thought we were heading to the cars but after a few streets I didn't recognize, I knew that wasn't the case. Well, in the distance, above one of the average buildings, I was a tower and my eyes were locked on it knowing it was the "Leaning Tower" which I have never seen before. So for another 2 hours, we're standing outside the cathedral and the tower where my eyes were still locked on it while Marco and his friends were watching the lunar eclipse. So to make a long story, well, not much longer, we made it home a little after 3 am!!! About 7 hours after I wanted to be home and about 11 hours after we left Volterra!

I mentioned above that I'm not sleeping well. I can't figure out why, but even if I take a couple of sleeping pills at say 11, it seems Im alway up till about 6am when I finally seem so ehausted that I fall asleep. Thus, I tend not to wake up till 2 or 3. I've been trying to fix this by doing manythings to get me to be tired by 11, such as not drinking coffee, not doing anything that requires extensive thought before 11, even trying to "carb out" as my mom would put it to try to make me tired. No luck. Even forcing myself out of bed by 10 after only 4 hours of sleep didn't help when I tried to go to sleep at 11 that night and failed. Its driving me a bit crazy. Thus I'm taking donations of Valumns or prescription sleep aids. Anxiety seems to be my mom's theory but seeing as I did find a job and money seems to be ok, I don't know if this could be the case.

Speaking of which, a friend of mine, with a little restaurant about 20 yards from my house said he needs some help for the summer. This restaurant has the best view from any restaurant in Volterra seeing as this is the little piazza I go to when I want to over look the Tuscan hills. The pay won't be bad but the hours aren't guarenteed. Sergio, my new boss said he won't need me till Good Friday, and at which time it'll be a bit slow and I won't be working alot, but later, in June through August, there will be more hours available. Thus I may need to find something else to bring home a bit more pancetta (Italian form of bacon).

I hope that my architect friend, Andrea might need some help but I also hope to earn a few bucks this time. When I say bucks, I assume he's not going to pay me with US dollars nor with male deers either, although I think I'd take the later seeing as the US$ isn't that strong and at least I can eat like a king for a while with a buck of two. Anyways... I'm also spending my free time right now to create a portfolio that I can send to a few different architects in the area. Thus, if they need someone part time for the summer, I can do that, or if they need someone full timefor the summer, it gives me enough time to help Sergio find another person, or if they need someone full time after the summer, that would be fine too. So I may have to break down and find a descent printer! Maybe one with a scanner... Any suggestions?? Oh, and on my way here, to use the internet, I was going to stop by Andrea the architect's office but ran into him on the way. He suggested I stop by his office later this week cause he might have some stuff for me to do and also asked if I want the key to his office so I can work when I want on stuff for him or if I find an architecture competition for myself.

Well, sorry for keeping this issue so long, but maybe I'll have internet soon and be able to write more short blogs more often (been waiting 4.5 months). Take care all!

Ciao tutti!!